


you're the sky that i fell through

by cabaretgay



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 21:37:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14529711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabaretgay/pseuds/cabaretgay
Summary: In which Simon is very passionate about the GSA and will give Bram a flyer if he has to shove it down his throat.





	you're the sky that i fell through

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from one of those monstrous writing prompt posts on tumblr that somehow found its way to pinterest, where i found it and 3k words later we're here. this is the longest oneshot i've ever written omg
> 
> title comes from "if my heart was a house" by owl city
> 
> thanks to danielle and j for believing in my ability to write for this prompt

Lots of people had told Bram not to walk with his eyes shut, but he'd never paid them much attention. He guessed that they had been worried about Bram falling over something, but with all the smooth paved roads on campus, there wasn't much to trip on. So Bram paid them no mind, and barring the occasional arm-bump with someone who was in a hurry and that one time that he collided head-on with some girl texting furiously, he was fine. He'd memorized the steps to take to get to his classes, and thanks to his playlist he knew that he had only a song and a half left before he'd show up at the door of his English 101 lecture hall.

 

Immersed in Owl City's _If My Heart Was A House_ , Bram didn't hear his name at first. It didn't register that someone was calling him until he felt a hand on his arm. Bram opened his eyes, and standing before him was none other than Simon Spier. Simon goddamn Spier. Simon Spier, of the high school crush variety, of the Jacques variety, of the still-really-effing-cute variety. Standing right there and holding a stack of flyers. Bram yanked out his earbuds, pausing his music quicky. 

 

"Spier," he said. "What's up?" 

 

"Greenfeld!" Simon exclaimed. "It _is_ you! I thought I was going crazy for a minute there. You gotta answer a guy when he calls your name." Simon smiled and pulled out a flyer. "Anyway, I just thought I'd give you this flyer. It's for the Gender and Sexuality Alliance, or the Gay-Straight Alliance, whichever you prefer. We all just call it the GSA."

 

Bram shook his head. "Sorry, Spier, I kind of already have all kinds of stuff to do in my free time. As much as I support you guys, I have homework, a novel to write, and a life to live. Parties. You know." It was only a half-truth. Bram _was_ swamped with homework, but he hadn't touched his novel plans in six months, and hadn't gone to a party in three. Really, Bram would _like_ to join the GSA, but he knew that GSA's were generally where the more flamboyant LGBT+ people hung out. Bram wasn't even out of the closet to more than four people-- forget about Pride parades and Queer Prom.

 

Simon raised his eyebrows. "Well, uh, we only meet for an hour and a half a week. I'm sure you can make room, right? Mondays at 3:30?"

 

"I'm sorry, Simon, but I'm really not interested." Bram stepped around Simon and took off walking, but Simon quickly fell into step next to him.       

 

"I'm sure you'll change your mind. Hey, did you know there's more sexualities than just gay, straight and bi? There's asexuality, which is the lack of sexual attraction altogether, and polysexuality which means attraction to more than two genders, and pansexuality, or--"

 

"I'm already gay, okay Spier?" Bram said, cutting Simon off and turning to face him. Simon fell silent, but it took Bram a few seconds to realize what he'd said.    

 

_Oh my god, did i just say that?_

Simon broke the awkward silence as Bram stared at his feet, face red, ready to run. "Oh. Uh, well. Sorry to bother you. I'll just, you know,  be over here if you change your mind." 

 

Bram sighed. "Okay, Simon, tell me about this GSA."

 

"But--"

 

"Simon, I didn't want to join because I wasn't out. I can lie to one person about my sexuality, no problem. Two's a stretch. But a whole room of LGBTQ+ people, of which most of whom have spectacular gaydar? Forget about it. That's not a problem anymore, though." He motioned to the GSA table a few feet away. They'd definitely heard everything. "Introduce me to them. Maybe I'll show up on Monday."

 

Bram saw Simon's face light up as the two boys turned to the table. He looked happy, and a little bit of pride was on his face too as he led Bram to the other GSA members.

 

"Well, well. Bram Greenfeld, gay? Who'd have thunk?" asked a tall girl with short blonde hair dyed blue at the roots. Bram recognized her from his elective poetry class. "I'm Sadie Ayers, president of the GSA here at Georgia State. I'm a junior. She/her pronouns, please."

 

The GSA went around the table, introducing themselves. Bram counted eight girls, six boys, and two nonbinary kids currently at the table, but only remembered the names of Sadie, Simon (obviously) and one of the nonbinary kids-- River-- after everyone had told him their names, ages, and pronouns. 

 

A dude with glasses and shaggy blonde hair peered at Bram curiously. "Who are _you_?" he asked. "Name, pronouns, age, passions, weird fetishes, et cetera."

 

Weird fetishes. Yeah, right. "Bram Greenfeld. You can use he/him for me. I'm a freshman, and I have a passion for writing." Bram took a quick peek at Simon to see if he reacted to that. Two years earlier, one of the first things Bram (or Blue) had told Simon (or Jacques) was that he loved to read, write, and overall enjoy poetry and literature. Nothing, which made Bram's heart sink a little. Frankly, though Bram had been to a few parties and seen some _fine_ men, nothing could quite compare to the combination of Simon's looks and Jacques' personality that Bram knew and loved.

 

"No weird fetishes?" asked a short girl from the back of the pack, earning a laugh from the GSA. Bram blushed and shook his head. 

 

"Well, Bram," Sadie said, "sorry to hear that, and even more sorry to keep you so long. Here, take this flyer--" she handed Bram a flyer printed on pastel yellow paper-- "and get to class. Gotta keep those grades up, yeah?"

 

Bram smiled at her, taking the flyer. "Yeah, something like that."

 

"Simon," said Sadie, "why don't you walk Bram to his lecture hall and tell him more about the meeting next week? Don't forget, people, we've got a LGBTQ+ terms Kahoot planned! I'll take your flyer shift, Simon."

 

Simon blushed a bit, and looking again at Sadie, Bram saw a little twinkle in her eyes. _She's definitely planning this out,_  he thought, but folded the flyer and stuffed it in the back pocket of his jeans, taking off with Simon by his side. 

 

They walked in silence for a minute, but Simon broke the silence as they passed the nursing building. "I hope you don't actually expect me to explain what an LGBTQ+ Kahoot is."

 

Bram laughed. "No. Although I'm a little confused why you approached me, of all people. I mean, there were probably hundreds of people there who _didn't_ have earbuds in."

 

"Unfortunately, I don't know any of those people. I know _you_ , Bram."

 

"Fair point. How are you doing, by the way? It's been a hot minute."

 

Simon shrugged. "Fine, I guess. School is... school. My sister Alice got married last month, to this dude Theo. He's nice. I haven't heard much from Nick or Abby, since Nick's got all his soccer scholarship stuff and Abby's got her drama club. Leah and I talk almost every day, though. What about you?"

 

"It's going well. I'm trying to write a novel, but it isn't really working, and I've had an awful case of writer's block for a while now. Garrett and I are pretty close still, but we're definitely drifting since he's all the way in Oregon. Family's good."

 

"A novel?" Simon asked. 

 

Bram nodded. "It's a coming-of-age romance and the main character is gay. Gotta represent, you know?"

 

Simon smiled. "Definitely. There's not nearly enough LGBTQ+ characters."

 

They were almost to the English lecture hall, but Bram didn't want to stop talking to Simon. It was like high school all over again-- sweaty palms, shaky hands, shallow breaths-- except this time, Bram was going to act on the source of his nerves. He ran through the list of people in his class, settling on one boy who he had the number of and who took good notes. Bram made a mental note to text him later. Was he really going to skip class? 

 

"Do you have class right now?" Bram asked Simon. Simon shook his head. "Uh, then do you want to go get coffee or something? Catch up a little?"

 

Simon looked at him, surprised. "Bram Greenfeld, what has gotten into you? Skipping class?"

 

Bram shrugged sheepishly. "Turns out I'm not as studious as you thought."

 

"Well, there's a Starbucks over here," Simon replied. "If you're serious."

 

Bram nodded. "Totally and utterly."

 

"Sounds like a plan, then. Do you know where the Starbucks is? I can show you."

 

"That'd be great," said Bram. He actually didn't like coffee all that much-- he didn't even know the difference between espressos and mochas, and had much preferred Red Bulls to coffees in high school. However, any time alone with Simon was good, albeit nervewracking, and Bram figured he could suffer through an iced coffee heavily saturated with milk.

 

Making small talk about the weather (beautiful, if a little chilly for Atlanta), the GSA members (Bram restricted his opinions to Sadie, as he could only remember hers and River's name), the two boys walked side by side to the coffeeshop. Bram held the door open for Simon, who promptly inhaled the coffee smell with a smile. Bram rolled hie eyes good-naturedly and walked up to the register.

 

"You order first," Bram told Simon. 

 

"Could I get a medium iced coffee for Simon, and a..." Simon looked over at Bram questioningly.

 

"Medium iced coffee with milk for Bram," Bram finished.

 

The barista smiled, nodded, took their cash, handed them change. Simon found a table and set up his laptop as Bram waited for their coffees. When the barista handed him the cups, Bram laughed to himself at the incorrect spelling of Simon-- "Simone"-- on Simon's cup.

 

"Here you are, Simone," he said to Simon as he placed the iced coffee in front of him.

 

Simon smiled and rolled his eyes. "Again? You have no idea how many times baristas have spelled my name wrong. You've got it easy, too, your name's not hard to spell."

 

Bram chuckled as he sat down next to Simon.

 

The two were quiet for a while, Simon clicking away on his laptop and Bram sipping his (disgusting) coffee, but Simon closed his laptop before too long and broke the silence. "I didn't know you were gay."

 

Bram pursed his lips. "Yeah, well, not many people did. Before today I was out to a grand total of three people, and two of those were my blood relatives." The other was Jacques-- Simon-- but Bram didn't tell Simon that, and Simon didn't pry. 

 

"Yeah, sorry about that..." Simon cringed. "I feel awful, outing you like that. I should know better than to nag you about gay shit, especially considering I was outed in high school."

 

Bram shook his head. "Honestly, Simon, I'm not mad. Like, I should be, and all, but I'm not. I think a little part of me really wanted to come out. And, anyway, you didn't say it-- you didn't even know." _The Blue part of me,_ he thought. "Speaking of being outed, though, have you talked to Martin lately?"

 

"Nope," Simon said, popping the _p_. "I assume he's still being his dickish self, though. Pining after girls with boyfriends and blackmailing their friends. The works."

 

Bram's face flushed. He had known from when he decided to skip class for the coffeeshop that the topic of the emails was going to come up, but he hadn't thought it would be so soon.

 

"What a dick," he responded, sipping his coffee and averting his eyes. 

 

"Yeah. I'm glad that he never found out who Blue was, though. If Martin knew who Blue was, I'm sure he would have been equally awful to Blue. And even though he disappointed me when he didn't come to the Ferris wheel, I don't ever want anything bad to happen to Blue. He was... he was the first guy I loved, and I don't think I'll ever forget about him, you know?"

 

_Yes. Yes, I do know. I know because I am Blue. I know, because I loved Jacques. I know because I was in your shoes._

 

"Yeah, of course," Bram said. "Did you ever figure out who Blue was?" Bram knew the answer-- of course he hadn't, because if he had, Bram was sure Simon would have confronted him already. 

 

Simon shook his head. "I kind of wish that Blue would have shown up at the Ferris wheel, but I get that he didn't want to be out. I sometimes wonder about him. I wonder where he's going to school, if he has a boyfriend, if he's out to the world." He fell silent, staring wistfully off into space.

 

Bram was sure that Simon could hear his heartbeat. This was his moment, he knew it. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and--

 

"Blue is going to school at Georgia State. He is painfully single. And as of twenty minutes ago, Blue is out to the world." There. It was out. Bram held his breath as Simon snapped his head to face Bram.

 

"How do you know that?" It wasn't accusatory, just incredulous, and Bram watched as Simon's expression morphed from confusion, to realization, to disbelief. "Wait. _You're_ Blue?"

 

Bram nodded, and Simon's jaw fell open.

 

_Does he hate me?_ thought Bram. _Probably. And he has every right to._ As he watched, Simon closed his mouth, shook his head, and put his face in his hands. _He's disappointed._

 

"You have every right to hate me, Simon. I kept this secret from you for years. I easily could have come to sit by you that night at the carnival, but I didn't. I deleted my email. I refused to meet you. You can hate me as much as you want. But Simon... even if you hate me, if you hate _Blue_ , I can't bring myself to hate you back. I loved Jacques, and then I loved you-- I loved _Simon_ \-- and I don't think I'll ever let that go."

 

Simon sat up. "First of all, Bram, where did you get the impression that I hated you? I never said that, ever. I don't hate you. This was very out of the blue-- no pun intended-- and you took me by surprise, but I'm not mad in the slightest. Like I said, I respect that you weren't ready to come out. Deleting your email was a bit of a jerk move, yeah, but that's not something to discuss right now."

 

Bram smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

 

"Shhh, I'm not done. Bram, I just want you to know that I loved Blue just as much as you loved Jacques. And now, I love _Bram_ just as much as you love Simon."

 

"You're not disappointed it's me?" Bram asked.

 

Simon shook his head. "Of course not, Bram. All through high school, I was hoping it was you. Even afterwards. And right now, I cannot express how glad I am that it _was_ you."

 

Bram grinned. "I really want to kiss you right now."

 

"So kiss me," Simon responded, a twinkle in his gray eyes.

 

And Bram leaned in towards Simon, and then his lips were on Simon's, and it took a little while for them to figure out where to put their hands, but when they did, they really sunk into the kiss. And it was perfect. It tasted like coffee and it was feather-light at first but then passionate and sweet, and _perfect_.

 

When they pulled away, blushing, Simon looked into Bram's eyes, and said, "About time, huh?"

 

Bram smiled and leaned in to kiss Simon again, and again, this kiss was just like Bram had always imagined it. Perfect. 

 

They left the coffeeshop holding hands ten minutes and three kisses later. It was still sunny outside, so they managed to find an empty bench not far from the GSA table and sat down. 

 

"What now?" asked Simon.

 

"What do you mean, what now?"

 

"I mean, what are we?"

 

Bram looked at Simon. "I'm all in if you are."

 

"Are you sure?" asked Simon. 

 

"Positive."

 

Simon smiled and squeezed Bram's hand. "Boyfriends?"

 

Bram squeezed back. "Boyfriends it is."

 

A loud squeal came from behind them, and both Simon and Bram shot glances at the person it came from. It was River, the freshman nonbinary kid that Bram had remembered the name of. River took off running as soon as they noticed Simon and Bram looking at them, and the two boys laughed. 

 

Simon looked at Bram sheepishly. "I forgot to tell you that the GSA maybe enjoys shipping its members with their crushes."

 

'What GSA doesn't?"

 

"Fair point."

 

And much to the delight of River and the GSA, Simon and Bram kissed again.

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH these boys are my absolute favorites'
> 
> i think you can probably expect a bit more simon fic from me btw ;)


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